Media & Technology

Whenever I stop and think about how quickly technology’s developed over the last few decades, it blows my mind. I remember when I was a child and we had a home computer that we would play Solitaire on. Whenever someone won, the cards in the four different piles would individually emerge and spread across the screen, taking several minutes to fill the monitor. It was only years later after playing Solitaire on a newer computer that I realized our first computer was just extremely slow, and that that process usually takes about ten seconds. Over the last two years, my house has suddenly filled with a wide variety of advanced electronics. We have a flat screen TV with wireless capabilities, three different laptops, smart phones, a Blu-Ray player, and an excellent stereo which plays music from iPods, CDs and even USBs.

I love how convenient technology has become; I can listen to music anywhere, anytime, and look up any information I need on my iPhone. I simply adore our television. I’ve always admired the extent of details that DreamWorks movies like How to Train Your Dragon include, and with our new, not blurry TV, I can actually see those details. I love being able to see the ridiculous amount of work and effort that was put into everything from the scenery to individual hairs on the characters’ heads. Watching movies with our surround sound and with perfect graphics makes watching any movie a first-rate experience; we’re constantly inviting friends over just as an excuse to have movie nights.

Another of my favorite electronic devices is my iPhone. I never thought I’d be able to afford such an expensive phone, but now I don’t believe that I could switch back to an ordinary, non-smart phone. I love that I can access all of the social media sites that I use with one click. I can search Google for absolutely anything I want to know, wherever I am. I use my Facebook app every day; staying in touch with my friends has never been easier. I had never had texting before, and had always thought it was a waste of money, but since I got my smart phone I’ve seen how convenient it is. Instead of having to answer my mom’s phone calls while I’m at work, she simply texts me and I can respond when I’m able to. If I’m somewhere where there’s a lot of background noise, I don’t have to worry about hearing the person I’m communicating with; I just text them.

I think that the biggest perk for me when it comes to texting is my ability to text my best friend. She has a stutter and won’t answer phone calls, so my new ability to text messages to her has greatly increased the extent of our communication. I can even plan parties and events right from my phone; between texting and using my Facebook app, I’ve noticed that my plans come together more quickly and with much more ease than before. Being alerted immediately when someone texts me or messages me on Facebook helps with my being able to respond to them in a timely fashion. Although I’m quite satisfied with the amount of electronics in my life, I look forward to seeing what other kinds of technology come out in the next few years. Though it’s hard for me to imagine technology getting even more advanced, I’m sure that it will. After all, when black and white TV came out, I bet people never thought something like 3-D capable televisions would ever be on the market.

I wrote this article for an application to a scholarship sponsored by Direct2TV.com

DVR - Is It Good or Bad?

                Nowadays, peoples’ patience is a fraction of what it used to be. Back when television was first invented, no one minded watching the commercials in between segments of their programs. However, with the speed and “instant gratification” that the internet, smart phones, and a number of modern conveniences provide today, many peoples’ patience has shriveled up. Everyone wants everything instantaneously, whether it’s fast food, online purchases or TV shows. When my brother is watching videos online, for example, it’s usually best to walk out of earshot if the video takes more than seven seconds to load; his lack of patience is displayed in his colorful language. You also don’t want to be around when a commercial interrupts his show; even sailors could learn a few things from my brother when he’s met with 60 seconds of commercials. What many people don’t seem to appreciate, however, is that those commercials help pay for the programs we love to watch. Running a TV station isn’t cheap, and it certainly isn’t free. Expecting commercial-less, free TV shows is like expecting to have perfect spring weather year-round and then being shocked and offended when winter shows up as scheduled.

                Although modern conveniences like DVRs (Digital Video Recorders) are certainly convenient, one should consider the impact of thousands of people using such devices. If a large percentage of the people watching television shows are watching them from pre-recorded devices, skipping past “annoying” commercials, why would companies continue paying for expensive advertising slots? There’s no point in advertising on television if no one is going to be watching your commercial. No one’s going to be tempted to buy your product if they don’t see the advertisement for it in the first place. If companies stop paying for advertising space, then the TV stations they advertised on will make less money and will have to lower the prices of their advertising slots. When companies decide that advertising on television is too expensive and yields too few results, they’ll decide to advertise elsewhere. Meanwhile, TV stations will be stuck with all of the same expenses as before, but will receive less and less revenue from advertisements. Television as we know it may well come to an end if TV stations aren’t able to cope with this loss of revenue.

Never Give Up

        No one likes to think about death, but it is a reality that can’t be escaped. There is no fountain of youth; there is no “miracle drug” that can grant you immortality. Though the concept of such things is popular in movies and books, we eventually have to stop reading and come back to the real world, where the presence of death is much more tangible. In a movie, the director can create any outcome for the main character that he likes; but if you get shot or are diagnosed with cancer in real life, you can’t just shout “Cut!” and rewrite that moment to better suit your tastes. When we are given a certain lot in life, we must learn to live with it. That being said, there’s a difference between accepting the facts about something while doing your best to deal with and perhaps improve them, and allowing yourself to despair and give up because of those facts.

        James “Rhio” O’Connor is a wonderful example for people dealing with cancer; he was diagnosed with a terrible cancer, but instead of giving in to despair, he accepted the facts and did his best to improve his situation. Many people in his situation wouldn’t have the strength or endurance to battle his prognosis as he did, which is why Rhio is such an inspiration. Rhio was diagnosed with mesothelioma and told that he had only a year to live. Mesothelioma is a disease in which cells of the mesothelium (a membrane which covers and protects most of the body’s internal organs) divide uncontrollably, potentially invading and damaging the organs protected by the mesothelium. When someone has mesothelioma, cancer cells can spread from the original site of the cancer to the rest of the body, making this a terrifying and truly disheartening cancer.

        Though Rhio was only given one year to live, through research, determination and an ever-optimistic attitude, he outlived his prognosis by over six years. If I am ever unfortunate enough to be diagnosed with cancer, I’ll be sure to remember Rhio’s wonderful example when deciding which treatments to use. If, for example, I was given a prognosis where surgery, chemotherapy or radiation offered only a small chance of actually treating me, I wouldn’t just give up. I would look into alternative medicines and weight the varying risk factors and potential benefits of each of them. After all, researching various vitamins, minerals and healthy life changes played a big part in Rhio’s outliving his prognosis. Just because a natural remedy isn’t tested and proven by clinical trials doesn’t mean that it’s not worth looking into.

        I believe wholeheartedly in the power of nature. When my uncle was bed-ridden in a nursing home, it was my mother’s medical knowledge along with her open mind when it came to “unorthodox” medicines that kept him as healthy as he was. For the six long years he spent in that nursing home, my mother researched and used a wide variety of techniques in an attempt to alleviate his pain and heal him, including acupuncture and various herbal remedies. Just because something isn’t common practice yet, doesn’t mean its potential is in any way diminished. Besides, who knows what the future holds? Those “unorthodox” medicines may someday become main-stream for treating cancer. After all, many medicines come from nature; herbs are the root of most medicines. I’ve seen first-hand what an optimistic and open-minded approach can do for those who are ailing, so I know that if I ever did contract cancer, I’d research natural remedies just as much as commonly practiced things like chemotherapy. I believe that keeping an open mind and talking to a wide variety of doctors and other patients who are similarly diagnosed is best when trying to decide on a treatment for something as serious as cancer.  

        I feel that anyone dealing not only with cancer, but also with any other ailment that mainstream medicine is unable to cure, would find looking into alternative medicines beneficial. These alternative approaches can be very useful, and should be available to everyone; after all, it’s your body and you should be able to decide what to use to heal it. That being said, one should definitely keep in mind the opinions of the doctors one speaks to when discussing different medicines and procedures. Your doctor isn’t right one hundred percent of the time, but he or she probably knows much more about medicine than you do. If you research properly and use common sense along with the advice of the professionals you talk to, then you can use all that you’ve learned to make an informed decision about what treatments to use.

        Of course, rather than waiting until you have cancer to decide on how to treat it, it would be best if you knew ways to prevent it, so that you never got it in the first place. I believe that ways to prevent cancer should be broadcast more publicly; that way, more people would learn what they should and shouldn’t do when it comes to preventing cancer. For example, if commercials and public service announcements with advice about how to prevent cancer were more prominent, I believe that the number of people who contract it would drop more than some might think. Warning about getting too much sun, tanning beds, smoking, and also the links between being overweight and cancer, would all be good subjects to broadcast to the public. After all, part of what helped Rhio stay alive so long is that he switched to a healthier diet and added different vitamins and minerals to it, helping him to outlive his prognosis by six amazing years. Learning Rhio’s story has inspired me not only to never give up when it comes to seemingly impossible odds, but also to begin living a healthier lifestyle now, so that I don’t have to go through what he did. I want to live a long, healthy life, and it all starts with making intelligent decisions about how I live. If I start living a healthier life now, I’m sure I’ll thank myself in the future. 

Marriage: Communication Is Key

When you hear someone say things like “Communication is a key to a happy marriage,” perhaps you roll your eyes and think something like that is obvious to everyone. It certainly seems like it should be; however, sometimes it’s easy to say such phrases, but difficult to remember to live by them. With today’s technology, one could say that there is more communication than ever between people. Between texting, social media and other various technological forms of communication, it’s true that “communicating” is now as easy as the click of a button. However, is quantity really better than quality? It may be more convenient to simply send someone a text message versus calling them, but what happens to a relationship when the main form of communication used requires no effort and yields such little information? One can’t tell what someone’s mood is just by reading a Facebook message or looking at a text. It’s true that one can use grammar and punctuation to get a point across, but it’s also true that one can easily hide their true feelings by carefully wording a message. Compared to a face-to-face conversation where two people can look each other in the eyes and know from each other’s expressions what they’re thinking, technological communication can conceal a lot.

In a marriage, communication really is a key element in creating and maintaining a good relationship. Although there are many forms of communication nowadays, face-to-face conversations are still the best method to intimately communicate what one wants to say. Rather than texting or emailing your partner a question and getting a response immediately, maybe it would be better to wait and discuss it in person. It has been said that 58 percent of communication is through body language and 35 percent is through one’s vocal pitch, tone, and emphasis, while only 7 percent is through the actual content of the message. Messaging one another about what to pick up at the grocery store is one thing, but one should be careful not to let technology become something that takes away the intimacy of verbal communication. Discussing sensitive subjects via text message in order to avoid revealing vulnerable emotions, or in order to protect oneself from hearing someone else’s distress won’t work when you live with said person and have vowed to spend the rest of your life with them.

Having face-to-face conversations with each other is a start, but that isn’t enough. You have to consider how you speak with your spouse; what kind of language do you use? What tone of voice do you use when you’re angry? Do you become unreasonable when you have arguments and refuse to listen to your spouse’s side of the argument? How you handle conflict is the key to whether or not that conflict will bring you closer together or if it will escalate unnecessarily. If a marriage is already falling apart, using hurtful or negative language when speaking to your spouse will only hurt matters. It’s important to think before you speak. For example, instead of saying “You never do this,” or “You always do that,” try to use less negative, universal statements. Instead you could say “Lately you’ve been doing this,” or “You forgot to do that again.” Saying un-redemptive things to your spouse will only hinder you in the path to having a healthy marriage.

Couples also communicate poorly when they decide they “don’t want to fight” and avoid important issues instead working on and solving the problems and letting them go. It’s important at times like this to remember to focus on resolving the actual issue and not attacking the person creating the issue. You may feel like screaming and shouting, but that never solves anything. Isn’t it better to maturely seek out a way to resolve the issue? Although some people would argue that couples having fights is normal and not a big deal, it’s important for couples to do their best to resolve fights and not let hurt feelings get in the way of a happy marriage. Some might argue that communication problems don’t matter compared to things like infidelity and abuse. It’s true that these are very serious issues that can tear couples apart, but it’s also true that poor communication can do the very same thing, although not necessarily as quickly. However, coupled with something major like infidelity or abuse, poor communication can deteriorate a marriage faster than many might think.

Remember that no matter how bad things may look, it’s never impossible to work on communication issues. If the issue is a lack of face-to-face time, then plan date nights. Take time out of your busy schedule and make time to share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. Save the list of things you were going to text to your partner, and share them with him or her when you get home instead. If the issue is that you always seem to throw the same universal phrases (you always, you never, etc.) in your partner’s face, take a moment before you speak to really consider what you’re going to say. Consider your tone of voice as well, and how your significant other will respond to what you say and how you say it. Is it worth getting in a fight, or would you rather explain the issue calmly? If you have a tendency to avoid issues and let them boil under the surface, think twice. One day, all of those unspoken arguments will come bursting out, and it won’t be pretty. Do your best to calmly and fairly say what’s on your mind, without blowing up and letting it turn into a fight. If your marriage is in trouble, resolving these communication issues might just help to save it. Even when coupled with a major factor like infidelity, if a couple is able to calmly listen and maturely discuss their feelings and opinions, it could mean the difference between divorce and sharing the rest of their lives together.

Essay submitted for the Charles R. Ullman & Associates Scholarship, 2013. www.divorcelawnc.com.

References:

Gerry Heisler, Ph.D. (2011) Relationships Today: To Text or Not to Text, Is It a Curse or Blessing? http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/relationship-boot-camp/201104/relationships-today-text-or-not-text-is-it-curse-or-blessing

Preston Ni, M.S.B.A. (2013) Communication Success: The #1 Predictor of Divorce and How to Prevent It http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201303/the-1-predictor-divorce-and-how-prevent-it

Preston Ni, M.S.B.A. (2012) Communication Success: How Successful Couples Resolve Conflits http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201212/how-successful-couples-resolve-conflicts

Kim Schneiderman, LCSW (2013) The Novel Perspective: The Trouble with Texting http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-novel-perspective/201301/the-trouble-texting